John Van Auken
A.R.E. Instructor

Where is the Original Self? Where is that portion that emanated from the Source of All Life? Each of us has been born from the womb of our mothers as physical beings, and yet each of us feels that there is more to us than our earthly selves and physical bodies. Assuming there is a good reason behind this belief, let’s search for our original selves.

First, all humanity has teachings about a second birth, a so-called spiritual birth. This belief says that we are more than our earthly selves, personalities, and bodies. And most of us can feel this to be true despite all appearances to the contrary. So, where is the original self? Who is this original self?

We use terms for it, like soul, spirit, and psyche. We long to connect with this portion of our being. Without it, we feel that we are not complete. There is a hole in our being, a longing for that portion of us. Even people who fully immerse themselves in this life reach a point of longing for more to life than the physical and personal.

Ancient Chinese Taoism (also spelled Daoism) has studied and published much about searching for our original selves. Let’s begin there.

The teaching goes like this:

“Whoever is seeking eternal life must search for the place from whence Essence and Life originally sprang.” That makes sense, but how does one do this?

Jesus contributed to this search by directing us inward, teaching, “The Kingdom of God is Within You.” If we accept his direction inward, then nothing is possible without reflection. Obviously, the inward journey has to be through our minds. Somehow, the kingdom is within our minds, not our organic brains.

But Taoism teaches that reflection is not thoughts! Now, this is a challenge because most of us have only used our minds for thinking. Thinking is what we do. But Taoism says we cannot get beyond thinking by thinking, and the original self is beyond thinking. So, what kind of reflection is this if there is no thinking?

Taoism says that reflection must change the self-conscious heart. If today, people sit and meditate, looking only at their own egos and calling it reflection, how can anything come of it? Reflection is not thoughts. It is centering on the origin of Light and Life. Here, Light means consciousness. Life is the essence that animates all. The teaching goes on to say thoughts must be gathered into one place so one can FEEL the origin of self.

We want to bring the thoughts together in rest, in stillness. When the flight of thoughts keeps extending farther, one should stop and begin again. The thoughts must come to rest. Then, the center is revealed, and the Light appears. Stillness without the Light is not illumination. Stillness with the Light is illumination. Again, this Light is the original consciousness that conceived us.

Although the way to illumination is quite simple and easy, there are so many transforming and changing conditions connected with illumination that it is said: “Not with one leap can a person suddenly get there.” It is a step-by-step process: here, a little, there, a little. As the old Chinese proverb states: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Attaining illumination is accomplished in the mental, spiritual, and material applications of our earthly selves in this material world.

Buddha wrote: “If a person can let his/her heart be still, then the True Self is discovered!” We find this in the Bible, too: “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

The Taoist teacher adds this detail, which I found to be so helpful as I began my journey: “To still the heart does not mean to let it dry and wither away, it means that the heart is undivided and gathered in a centered place within us. It means that the heart is calm in the midst of life’s circumstances.” So many of my young fellow seekers chose severe self-discipline and avoidance of all forms of indulgence, thinking these would lead to enlightenment. As we grow closer to our original selves, we experience a life filled with serene joy.

We are searching for the center amid life’s conditions, both those within us and around us. All Light emanates from the center, within our more profound levels of consciousness. These transitions require us to use our imaginative forces because our three-dimensional consciousness is not designed to perceive the infinite, eternal realms of our original being. When we still the outer self and use our imaginative forces to visualize and feel that infinite, we turn from this reality to a more expanded one. And when we get there, it is familiar! It is the infinite womb of our origin.

Here is a very curious aspect of this journey. When we get near the original self, we find that the original self has not thought a thought, has no memories, and has no regrets. It is the pure “I” within the Infinite Original “I AM.” All the outer self’s memories are dissolved in a transforming oneness with the Original. This purity cleanses, thus restoring illuminated contentment. Here, we are filled with our soul’s purpose for being and begin to live that purpose.

When we return to this dimension of life, we are a light to ourselves and all those with whom we share life. We finally feel a part of Creation—and it would not have been the same without us!